trading treats tuesday

Ah. Trading Treats Tuesday. How I love alliteration. And assonance. And especially onomatopoeia. But alliteration's the rhetorical device any English major (or English speaker) can really get behind. Trite, but true.


My Treat this week is: Trying New Things.

Hard to do sometimes.

Sometimes, at the Swimming Pool Of Life, you are dragged, kicking and screaming, onto the Diving Board of New Things, and though you might try to Hang On For Dear Life, Life's Lifeguard will somehow find a way to Throw You In. (Strangely Capitalized Words courtesy of John Bunyan's "Pilgrim's Progress". It's another English Major Obscure Classic.)


True, people might be standing on the side, bemusedly observing your torment. And taking pictures. But, miraculously, there are often Helpful Hands waiting to catch you, when you finally get Pushed In.


Recently, I, your dear Lunch Lady, was pushed, Kicking and Screaming (Weeping, Wailing, and Gnashing My Teeth) into the Pool of Being a Parent of a Real Teen-Age Girl.



It'll be ok, though, right?



We'll all survive this New Thing, right?





Hello?





Helpful Hands?







Anyone?













What's your Treat Today? Come on in, the water's fine!

(Thanks to the Poor Terrified Kid for the great picture fodder)

in the bag

In honor(??) of my new calling in the Young Womens organization, I decided to inaugurate my new church bag yesterday.

I bought it at a quirky little store in Virginia at the beginning of July, but I hadn't used it yet. I worried it was a little too "out there" for the conservative ladies of the Relief Society.

Since the Young Women are all so crazy as it is, I don't think anyone will notice.

My kids are only a little embarrassed by it/me.

neim@n marcu$ dip

Occasionally, during the hot summer months, you might find that your Carrotsticks have wilted a little.

The best way to revive them is to throw them in some water.

Even a germ-infested bacteria breeding cess/swimming pool seems to work fine.

Just try to avoid the temptation of nibbling on them after they've been dipped in that.

Instead, on Good Food Friday, you might want to try this dip instead:


Cryptosporidium Free Neim@n Marcu$ Dip

6 slices bacon, fried and crumbled
1 ½ c shredded cheddar cheese
1 small package sliced almonds
3-4 green onions, sliced
1 c sour cream
1 c mayo
1 tsp lemon juice
½ tsp garlic powder


Mix sour cream and mayo together. Add rest of ingredients. Chill. Serve as dip or spread. Also good on baked potatoes.


This is one of those urban legend recipes, you know: "I was eating lunch with my girlfriends in the Neim@n Marcu$ restaraunt, and they served this fabulous appetizer. And I said to my waiter, 'This dip is so good! I would love this recipe.' And when the waiter came back, he handed me a copy of the recipe. I was delighted. That is until I got my credit card bill later that month, and found out they had billed me $250 for that recipe. So now I'm going to share it with you for free, just to spite them." One of those.

In our never ending attempt to dispel this kind of myth, we in the Lunchroom have made multiple attempts to contact Neim@n Marcu$ at their headquarters in Texas. They, however, have refused to answer our calls made to random phone numbers in the Dallas area.

Though they may have "No Comment," our comment is "This Dip is Delicious!" Try it. It'll impress all your friends and family at your next "Let's Contract a Recreational Water Illness" Party.

a helpful hint

When cutting your husband's hair

right before he leaves on a business trip,

Never,

no matter what happens,

EVER

say

"Uh oh."

Just a little something I thought I'd pass on.


reverse mohawk picture originally downloaded by sullydude

trading treats tuesday and the winner???

Dear Reader:

It's Trading Treats Tuesday once again. And, THANK YOU SO MUCH for last week's treats!!! I loved your comments. They were happy little bloggy surprises in my inbox. But now, on to this week's treat:

Bacon.

There is nothing quite like crispy (not flabby) crunchy greasy bacon.

Nothing.

And there is nothing like the total inconvenience of actually cooking bacon.

Too bad you can't have bacon without bacon grease.

But wait! You can, my friends! You can! This Trading Treats Tuesday, let's celebrate pre-cooked bacon and all that it brings to the classic BLT.

Nuke it for just a few seconds and you've got hot, crunchy bacon, ready to top off summer's ultimate sandwich. Because nothing (except Wapiti) says summer than BLTs -- especially if they're made with fresh-from-the-garden, homegrown, sun-ripened tomatoes.

It's extra-super nice when your kind and generous neighbors (who actually heed the prophet's counsel and PLANT A GARDEN) take pity on your with your miserably hard, dull orange store bought tomatoes, and share their bounteous harvest with you:

And even better 'cause you didn't have to stink up your house with the smell of cooked bacon. And even more better 'cause you didn't have to coat your kitchen with a layer of bacon grease. And even more better-ER 'cause you didn't have find a way to dispose of that pesky congealing bacon grease. True, the pre-cooked stuff is not quite as tasty, but the conveniences far outweigh that minor failing.

And then, to top it all off, how great is it when your mom brings you a lovely loaf of homemade bread to use in the making of your fabulous BLT??????

So there you go, THREE treats: pre-cooked bacon, and my generous neighbor's homegrown tomatoes, and homemade bread from dear ol' Mom.

And now, as this Trading Treat Tuesday is, in fact, my 100th post, it is time to announce the winner of the Sack Lunch Conspiracy 100th Post Contest! But first,

THANK YOU AGAIN!!!!!!!!

to all of you who played! I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE your comments. And I have to say that, with the exception of Kninsa's Lucille Ball-like antics in a vat of pomegranate seeds, I love the same things you do. (Thank you for reminding me of all that is good in life.)

And so,

without further ado,

the

winner,

totally and completely non-biasedly picked in a highly technical procedure by our friends at Random.org,

is:

Ubermom's BFF, Kristen!

Kristen, I am (unfortunately) still working on your prize pack. But, if you, or Ubermom, will drop me a little note (thelunchlady.slc@gmail.com) with your address, I will get it to you as soon as it's done.

Thanks for playing along, dear readers. I really do love you all!

Even though I don't have a prize to bribe you with today, I would love to exchange treats with you! What are you loving this week? Leave a comment!

tomato picture originally downloaded by hatschiputh

tunnel of love chocolate cake

It is 11:58. The Oldest Carrotstick has somehow convinced PB&J to take her to the bookstore to pick up a copy of a book that is being released August 2.

Nuts, huh?

And speaking of nuts, on this Good Food Friday, you gotta try this great cake, chock full of nuts. (How's that for a seque?) It's the nuttiness of this cake that makes the magic happen -- when you cut into it, it has a nice, gooey, molten fudge center.

Come on, say it with me, "Mmmmmmmmm."

It's not unlike what happens when a vampire bites into his victim/girlfriend, right? (Unless you're allergic to nuts and are going into anaphylactic shock, then you say "Arggghhhhhuuummmppphhh------" and motion frantically for epinephrine.)

So, on this twilight eve, if you are NOT allergic to nuts, enjoy:

Chocolate Cake the Vampire Way

Cake:
1 3/4 c butter, softened
1 3/4 c granulated sugar
6 eggs
2 c powdered sugar
2 1/4 c all-purpose flour
3/4 c unsweetened cocoa
2 c chopped nuts (nuts are essential to this recipe)
Glaze:
3/4 c powdered sugar
1/4 c unsweetened cocoa
1 ½ to 2 Tblsp milk

Heat oven to 350. Grease and flour bundt pan. In large bowl, beat butter and granulated sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually add powdered sugar; blend well. By hand, stir in remaining cake ingredients until well blended. Spoon batter into prepared pan; spread evenly. Bake at 350 for 58-62 minutes (since this cake has a soft tunnel of fudge, ordinary doneness tests cannot be used. Accurate oven temperature and bake time are essential.) Cool upright in pan on wire rack 1 hour; invert onto serving plate. Cool completely.

In small bowl, combine glaze ingredients until well blended. Spoon over top of cake, allowing some to run down sides

You can even take some creative license and drizzle chocolate, or even better -- raspberry puree -- on the plate to give it a little more vampire realism. Bella told me she loves this cake. She wants to serve it at her wedding. You should try it. See if you agree.

cake picture originally downloaded by hfb

moon picture originally downloaded by *Muhammed*

Some people might think it is nuts to pay extra for these super stylish 3D glasses.

overheard

I was in another room, probably doing something worthwhile, like flossing, when I overheard PB&J talking to the Middle Carrotstick. PB&J, a little forlornly, said:

"I've always wanted a chainsaw."

!!????!!!!?!?!???

A chainsaw????

A friend of mine says she has always wanted a yellow Mustang.

For me, it's been a robins egg blue VW bug convertible.

But I also really like gadgets. Cool, new gadgets.

Hence:

(Taken with my new camera/phone.)

(The guy told me this phone/camera/wonder gadget was SO GOOD I would never want to use my other camera. Right.)

What's the secret (or not-so-secret) desire of your heart?

(You guys have done such a nice job of commenting!!! It just warms the cockles of my heart! I commend you, and, once again, invite all of you non-commenters to give it a try! --

It's fun! I promise!)

be nice, or elk . . .

I hope, dear reader, you will forgive me for my bad mood last week. I really did appreciate your happy hints -- shopping (I bought a cute new red purse), reading a good book under a tree, and of course Beaker. How can you be grumpy when there are Muppets on YouTube?

Because I feel bad about my grumpiness, I would like to propose a new Sack Lunch tradition --

Trading Treats on Tuesday.

This is based on a post by one of my blogging idols, CJane, -- 'cept she calls it Good Report Friday. The idea is: I'll share a special something (of Good Report) with you, and YOU ALL comment and share something YOU like with me! You can report on anything you want -- somebody on CJane's blog commented about Fleur de Sel Caramel Haagen Daz Ice Cream. I tried it. And it was of Very Good Report. So, please, share with me your Sack Lunch treat, packed with love by dear ol' mom (or by yourself) and help make Tuesdays (or any day -- you don't have to comment just on Tuesdays) more enjoyable.

My Treat to share:

The Indian word for elk is "Wapiti."

In English, Wapiti means "white rump."

In the summer, both my boys are renamed

"Wapiti."

Can you guess why?

I took a picture of them running around in their swimming suits. I was trying to discretely hint at the difference between their bronzed backs and their little wapitis.
And that is my Treat for today. Some of you might think skin cancer, but I think that kids running around all summer long, in their swimming suits, is the best part of being a kid. And what summer used to be. Good, good stuff -- Wapiti. Think about it.

Oh, and one more thing -- homemade (or friend-made) Strawberry Jam. There really is nothing better than a couple of bottles of that appearing magically in your fridge! (thank you!)

Now, what's yours? Come on, please don't be shy! It's ok to de-lurk, even! This is a safe blog, where everyone is welcome. Share! Please!!! Even if it is the carob chip cookies your mom made (when you were secretly wishing for real chocolate chips!) I promise I won't think your idea is stupid, and I will never laugh at you. Ever.



(And just so you know, my 100th post is coming up. Soon. There might be a prize involved. And it might, just might, in some Random Integer kind of way, be tied somehow to this post. So . . . if you're interested . . . it's something to keep in mind, 'cause some of you felt a little bad the last time I had a contest . . . )


elk picture originally downloaded by Sandra Leidholt

cowboy caviar

Before the parade passes by . . . I've got to get some life back into my life

-- Hello, Dolly!

Since I can't do the impossible, let me just share with you some pictures of the parade that did pass by.

Before the parade passes by
Before it goes on, and only I'm left

Before the parade passes by
I've gotta get in step while there's still time left

I'm ready to move out in front
Life without life has no reason or rhyme left

With the rest of them
With the best of them

I wanna hold my head up high
I need got a goal again

I need got a drive again

I wanna feel my heart coming alive again

Before the parade passes by...

Before the parade passes by

I've gotta get some life back into my life

I'm ready to move out in front

I've had enough of just passing by life
With the rest of them

With the best of them

I can hold my head (????) up high

For I've got a goal again
I've got a drive again
I wanna feel my heart coming alive again

Before the parade passes by

When the parade passes by

Listen and hear that brass harmony growing
When the parade passes by
Pardon me if my old spirit is showing

When the whistles blow
And the cymbals crash

And the sparklers light the sky

I'm gonna raise the roof

I'm gonna carry on

Give me an old trombone

Give me an old baton

Before the parade passes by!

And now, since it is Good Food Friday, I am going to share a recipe that perfectly combines the 24th of July and the beautiful Miss Rainbow Trout Royalty:

(Oh How I Wish I Were a Rodeo Queen Instead) Cowboy Caviar

2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1 1/2 to 2 teaspoons hot sauce (or to taste)
1 1/2 teaspoons olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1 tsp cumin
2 firm-ripe avocados
2 cans (15 oz.) black-eyed peas, or black beans (or one of each)
1 cup frozen corn kernels
2/3 cup thinly sliced green onions
2/3 cup chopped fresh cilantro
1/2 pound Roma tomatoes, coarsely chopped
Salt
1 bag tortilla chips or 2 cups finely shredded cabbage

In a large bowl, mix vinegar, hot sauce, oil, garlic, pepper, and cumin. Peel, pit, and cut avocados into 1/2-inch cubes. Add to vinegar mixture and mix gently to coat.

Drain and rinse peas/beans. Add peas/beans, corn, onions, cilantro, and tomatoes to avocado; mix gently to coat. Add salt to taste. Serve with chips as an appetizer, or add cabbage and mix to make a salad.

I made this for the first time on Monday, and we all liked it a lot. It'll make you hold your head up high and know you're alive again. Try it, before the parade passes you by.

That's it girls, just smile and wave -- smile and wave.