Friday, March 27, 2009

good food friday????

Happy Good Food Friday!!

I apologize for the posting hiatus. I just haven't felt very inspired lately. Especially when it comes to food. I love food. And food loves me. It comes to visit and then decides to stay forever. It makes me sad. And mad. So I've been boycotting my love for food, by not posting or saying anything good about food, but to no avail.

So, Good Food Friday and I are back! Hurray!

Since some of you asked questions about food, I thought today would be an appropriate day to answer them.

Let us begin.

Allyson asked: "Okay, where do you find your recipes? You always have such fun ones - do you have a favorite book/books, websites, etc"

Allyson, I blame all of this on these two people:
My dear ol' Mom and Dad (no they are not about to be abducted by aliens in a giant silver UFO. It's some crazy place in Chicago. I'll tell you all about it next month.)

A long time ago my Mom and Dad were almost hippies. They lived in a hippie college town (Corvallis, OR). They were part of a communal garden project. They cooked with tofu. They frequented odd smelling health food stores. They grew their own sprouts in little plastic cages. They even grew their own yogurt.

Then they grew out of their hippie phase and decided to master the fine art of Chinese Food. They bought woks. They bought cleavers. They bought cookbooks. They came, they saw, they cooked chinese. Food. Not people.

The point is, my mom and dad aren't afraid to try new things -- even though, as kids, we sometimes were.

As a result, I like to read cookbooks and cooking magazines, and even the occasional cooking blog. And I subject my family to the recipes that sound most intriguing. Some successful, some not so much. If you ever want to watch PB&J turn green and start to dry heave -- just say "Huevos Rancheros."

"We take no prisoners."

As I've mentioned before, I like Cooks Illustrated, Bake or Break, Bakerella, Pioneer Woman (try the cheesy olive bread) and I have a huge collection of mostly untried recipes that I've ripped out of magazines.

Kate asked: "What is your favorite dessert? And when you need a quick sweet fix, what do you head for? (ie, chocolate chips, peanut butter, nutella, you get the picture)."

Kate, the truth is, I love all desserts. Just like I love all my sisters. I don't believe in having favorites. And I suffer with indecision issues.

But, my favorite sweet fix these days involves taking a scoop of Nutella, microwaving it for a few seconds while I wash and slice up a couple of strawberries, and then snarfing down strawberry slices coated with nutella as fast as I can before the kids catch me and want me to share.

Amy asked: "So my real question, where do you come up with all your fun posts? Specifically the pictures, recipes etc."

Amy, I am just honored that you think some of my posts are fun. I do love to take a gander at the crazy pictures people post on Flickr. Give it a try! It's a great way to waste time!

See, I just found this picture of Flickr and now I am dying to try kiwi with nutella!

Melanie asked: "You always have such great recipes. What's your all time favorite meal? Not necessarily one that you make - doesn't food taste better when someone else makes it anyway?"

A-men to that Melanie! (Although nothing makes me crankier than going to a restaraunt and paying good money for food I can make better.) Anyway. Though I don't believe in favorites, I would say my favorite meal would be a Thanksgiving mutation -- except with steak instead of turkey -- and it wouldn't be complete without the green bean casserole, cranberries (oh, but then you need the turkey), yams, homemade rolls, butter, homemade jam, and at least 5 pies (apple, pumpkin, pecan, lemon meringue, AND cherry) and possibly bread pudding to boot. Have I ever told you I heart carbs?

I do.

And last, but not least, Shem asked: "What is your favorite local restaurant? (local counts the county north of us)"

Right now, Shem, I would have to say I love The Cheesecake Factory. I am totally in love with their Bang Bang Chicken. And I have a hard time tryinganything else, when I get to go there so infrequently. I found a knock-off recipe for Bang Bang Chicken here, and it is pretty darn good. Just don't look at the calorie info at the bottom. It only depressed me. I try to justify it by not eating the rice. I hope it works.

And now, so-as not to let you down, I am going to share with you a long time Lunchroom standby for my official Good Food Friday recipe. My sister Farm Girl already blogged about this, so I will just refer you to her blog if you are looking for some entertainment. Anyway. This recipe for "Oatmeal Glop" was created by me and my sibs back when we were starving hungry kids, waiting impatiently from our Mom and Dad to come back from Area 54 or the grocery store -- wherever they were hiding from us. But I don't recommend you try it. I am just trying to keep things real.

As an extra bonus Farm Girl also included a recipe for Toaster Gross, created by her husband in college.

I REALLY don't recommend you try that.

nutella picture by Hoobygroovy
huevos picture by mag3737

picture of my parents stolen from Kate.

Friday, March 20, 2009

I apologize in advance for this post

I saw this picture on one of my favorite blogs today.

It is quite a famous picture entitled "Primavera" by Botticelli.

Quick, without clicking on the link, was Botticelli a man or a woman?

There is a dead giveaway hidden in this picture -- and it doesn't have anything to do with the abundance of scantily clad women either.

Can you tell what it is?

Need a hint?
There you go. Botticelli was a man. Because a woman would never have painted a man in a toga wearing his "warrior" boots and tube socks.

Just like my "performance toilet." It can only have been marketed by a man, as Cheree postulated: "You know it was a man that came up with the name of the "Performance Toilet" and not just a performance toilet but the global leader."

I would guess the Marketing Mastermind behind the Performance Toilet might have had this kind of performance in mind:

Or possibly the Ad Exec was dreaming of the "Man's Bathroom" as Allyson speculated: "When I read the words "performance toilet" I had a flashback to an OLD "Home Improvement" episode. You know, the show with Tim Allen as an almost mentally handicapped handy man. ANYWAY there was an episode where they made a "man bathroom" and there was a TV and cup holders, a mini fridge, and...the toilet reclined. Quite a performance if you ask me."

But alas, said toilet does not recline. And there is something morally and ethically wrong with having a fridge or drinks in a bathroom. Can you say "Fecal Aerosols"?

It could be that Mr. Marketing was sports minded, and was thinking of this kind of performance:

Val is also sports minded, and asked: "So, does your new toilet require a dose of Performance Enhancing Drugs on a regular basis?"

Val, I read recently that "people" shouldn't be flushing their unused prescriptions down the toilet, so, alas, our Performance Toilet will no longer "unknowingly" *wink*wink* be taking performance enhancing drugs.

From the Head Nurse comes the following: "I would say a toilet that performs really is something special- Can you bring it out here for our entertainment?"

And "Henry" (Henry, are you really my dad, incognito? Do you feel slightly chagrined to be asking a question about a toilet? Even though it was quite funny?)

"Henry" *cough*cough* asked: "Is a performance toilet something like performance art? Do you need a ticket to see it? Or use it?"

Alas, Henry and Head Nurse, the Performance Toilet is exclusively engaged at the Lunchroom. Though the toilet occasionally utilizes a candle -- or sometimes just a match -- in the performance of its art, it can't quite be considered atrue performance artist. The toilet performs daily, with the occasional midnight show. No tickets are necessary, and the Toilet recommends you try the Roast Beef, or even better -- the All-Bran -- and please, don't forget to tip your server.

And sadly, Amber, despite your hopes (and mine) for better performance: "Be happy you chose a performance toilet. Perhaps it will perform better than the old water saver toilets that never pump enough water through to flush much on the first try...sorry to be graphic."

The Manly Man's Global Leader in Performance Toilets is not quite man enough for this Man:

Tuesday, March 17, 2009



Finally, most of the MESS is finished, though we are still waiting for carpet for the top three stairs. Don't ask. I don't know why. If I had measured the carpet and ordered it, I might expect something like that to happen. But I didn't, and so I don't understand how a trained professional (and I use the term loosely) can make that kind of mistake.

But most things are put back where they belong (except the things that belong on the top three steps -- like carpet) and I am feeling like I am finally coming up for air.

So I thought I'd take this chance to answer a few more questions.

The Duvall Family asked:

I would like to know where I can get a cute white skirt for church...either a pencil skirt or a flowy (is that a word??) skirt.

My answer for today is look here. They are offering both a pencil skirt and flowy skirt, for your wearing pleasure. I have one much like this one, and I love it. Although I must warn you, wear a white dry-clean only skirt and you are sure to be graced with a slobbery chocolate coated kiss right on your knee. Or rump.

Kate asked:

Dear sister, who is your favorite sister?

My answer: All my sisters are my favorite. Anything beyond that, and I'm taking the Fifth.

Not the Fifth Sister, because I don't have one. But the Fifth Ammendment. Because I know my rights. And I know any other answer will just get me in trouble.

Now, I must be off to piano lessons.

Stayed tuned for more questions and answers on parenting, food, and performance toilets. I know, you can hardly wait.

Monday, March 9, 2009

happy 200th post!

come on, sing it with me:

"Happy 200th post to me! Happy 200th post to me! Happy 200th post dear me, Happy 200th post to me!"
Ah, shucks! Thanks! You all are so sweet.

Yes, it's true. This is the long awaited 200th post. I would have posted earlier, but our MESS has been all consuming. Throw a birthday for the Youngest Carrotstick into the MESS and there has been absolutely no coming up for air.

But, enough about my mess. Onto your questions, and my, but they were excellent questions.
Now, while I am waiting very impatiently for the carpet layer to get here, I will try to answer a few of them.

First off, my very favorite question from Cheree:

"My question to you is how do you look so good and young? It is hard to believe that you have a teenage daughter."

Cheree, I love you. If I give you a dollar everytime I see you, will you keep asking me that? My answer: Braces. Yes, I am a nerd and I currently have braces (for 3 more cross-my-fingers months). But the braces give the illusion of youth -- because you think only teen-agers wear braces. I'm afraid it even confused our old bishop -- he must of thought I relate well to teenagers because of them -- and hence my calling in the Young Women organization. Once the braces are off, I'm sure I'll look like the dinosaur my daughter thinks I am.

Kninsa asked "What's for dinner?"

I'll tell you what I tell PB&J when he asks me that: Whatever you want to make. Or, more realistically, whatever they serve at the restaurant you want to go to.

And finally, Mom The Runner asked "How was your weekend?"

Last weekend (the weekend in question) was excellent. We went to out of town to see our niece get baptized, so that was great.

And this weekend was pretty good, but exhausting. We went to the Youngest Carrotstick's piano recital (He played well, and his piano teacher performed too and was awesome.) We went out to dinner with friends -- always a good time. Saturday, the Oldest Carrotstick and I went to a swimsuit party so she could get a new swimming suit. It took a lot of restraint, but I decided to forgo the pleasure of trying on swimming suits myself. Then we went to a Stake Youth Service Project, went snowmobiling with cousins, came home, moved everything out of the front room, tore up and replaced baseboards, and went to bed very late indeed. And then there was Daylight Savings. I hate Daylight Savings. Sunday, we made it to church just in time. Were spiritually fed. Came home. Took a nap. Had a Young Womens meeting. And went to dinner at my mom and dad's.

There. Does that answer your question in more detail than you cared to know? Thanks for asking!

Stay tuned for more answers to your questions about food, toilets and child rearing!
nerdy picture by brendan1/2