Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
once upon a time, many many months ago, a little princess named Oldest Carrotstick (called Carrot for short) went on a journey with her sometimes wicked mother to a far off land called the District.
finally, Carrot and her mother, the lowly Lunch Lady, were met by a beautiful Farm Girl. she smiled happily at them and embraced them and they were overjoyed (especially because the Farm Girl was with child and it was very exciting to see her little baby bump). without delay, Farm Girl whisked the two weary travelers out of the oppressive labyrinth, onto a speeding subway train, and finally to her awaiting carriage. shortly thereafter, the gentle and congenial Farm Girl delivered them to a calm, clean, and quiet room on the 7th floor of the Marriott castle. it was a wonderful thing.
And she slept happily ever after for the rest of her spring break trip.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
The Middle Carrotstick pretty much has this memorized. I suggested he could be the Old Spice guy wearing the towel for Halloween, but he's not going for it. "Look at your costume, look at mine ...."
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Here's a little awesomeness I saw floating around the blogosphere.
Thought I'd share it with you.
Seriously, it is awesome.
Take some time to watch it.
Good blog reader, good blog reader.
And no, I won't give you a treat, because this video is treat enough. You will be happier after you watch it. Happier and possibly slightly jealous. I know I am.
(and yes, I've been told I'm bossy once or twice. but that's it.)
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Just say it to yourself over and over: Net - an - ya -hu.
See? It's fun!
And today is the last day of school.
Fun for kids. Sad for me. 'Specially since it means my daughter is no longer in Junior High.
I am really REALLY sad about that.
I have to admit I have driven by the High School more than once and felt overwhelmingly depressed by it.
If you see me wandering the streets muttering "Netanyahu" over and over you'll know why. I'm just trying to find my happy place.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
For a teen, texting is an ADHD kids dream come true. you can have multiple meaningless conversations all at once. And you can get instant feedback on the dramas of your life from your 10 BFFs simultaneously.
Take for example the following "game" that occurred just this evening.
Let me set up the play for you.
In the texting line-up, Oldest Carrotstick is texting one friend from cheer, one BFF (thankfully a girl), one boy she flirted with last summer but in whom she currently has NO interest, and two boys she has met in the last two weeks with whom she is doing the preliminary do-i-want-to-like-you? get-to-know-you's.
Suddenly, out of the blue, boy #4 "Jack" texts her. Up until Saturday, Jack was the top contender in the possible love interest competition, but then Jack dropped the ball -- by letting approximately 45 minutes to 2 hours pass in between several texting exchanges Saturday night. Which is unforgiveable since he is a really good baseball player -- in real life. Error. He then had the audacity to not initiate any texting conversations at all on Sunday. Strike 1. Or Monday. Strike 2.
Finally, at 8:30 Tuesday night, Jack checks in, knowing full well that the Oldest Carrotstick's evil and over-protective mother turns off her texting at precisely 9:00 on weekdays and 10:00 on weekends. A move OCS found to be cowardly. It's like jumping out of the box cuz your afraid the pitcher is going to hit you. Strike 3.
The bases were loaded, but he struck out. Hence the following conversation occurred between the hitter -- Jack, the pitcher -- OCS, and the ump -- OCS's BFF:
8:30 Jack: Hey! :)
8:32 OCS to Jack: oh hi. whats up (note the absence of exclamation points & emoticons. very telling.)
8:32 OCS to BFF: JACK JUST TEXTED ME!
8:32 BFF: what did that kid say?
8:32 OCS to BFF: FW: Hey! :)
8:32 BFF: wow. seriously? who does he think he is?
8:32 OCS to BFF: I know right?
8:33 Jack: (blissfully unware that the ump -- BFF -- has just called Game Over) just sittin here
8:36 OCS to Jack: O cool
I guess the same advice applies to teens as it does to kids up to bat -- keep your eye on the ball, wait for the good ones, and make it be there.
(Yes this post is very confused. I'm not sure where I am going with it. Obviously. Maybe I'll rewrite it later this afternoon. Sorry. But, in other matters of important business, I will soon be posting on my recent trips to DC and Chicago. I know you are dying to see all my vacation pictures, so check back soon!)
Friday, April 9, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
The Youngest Carrotstick got lucky and got 3.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
1. By 9:21 this morning I had already been to Wallies and returned home.
2. I went to go pick up the just-released final book in a series that the Oldest Carrotstick and the Middle Carrotstick have been reading.
3. I may or may not have also read it.
4. I may or may not have picked it up early this morning so that I could spend the whole day with the book to myself and finish it FIRST.
5. But that wouldn't be very responsible. And I am all about being responsible.
6. Which is why, though I wore the Oldest Carrotsticks very expensive jeans to Wallies, I will take them off before she gets home.
7. Because I didn't ask first.
8. I thought about texting her at school and asking.
9. But then I rationalized not asking by pointing out to myself that she took the jeans off, dropped them on the floor in my bathroom, and left them there 18 hours ago.
10. So she doesn't really care about responsibility.
12. Hopefully someday she will be responsible like me.
13. And do really worthwhile things.
14. Like blog.
15. And spend a whole day reading books and not cleaning the house.
16. The point of the jeans, though, is I wore them not just because they were there and very handy, but because I thought that maybe if I wore them to Wallies at 9 o'clock in the A.M. that I would, in fact, feel Sassy.
17. A friend of ours, whenever you ask him how he's doing, always responds "Fat and Sassy."
18. I like it.
19. At least the Sassy part.
20. Nobody likes to feel fat.
21. Except at Thanksgiving.
22. And then it's only good if it's a temporary thing.
23. Just like Peeps should only be a temporary thing.
24. Only at Easter.
25. Not any of those other holidays.
26. And certainly not in Flavors.
28. And can anyone tell me why, for the exact same price, you get only 10 Chick Peeps but 12 Bunny Peeps?
29. It makes it not very fiscally responsible to buy the Chicks.
30. Even though they are better.
31. And you know I'm all about being responsible.
32. Which is why I am having guilt about wanting to read this book all day today.
33. Instead of going to get the oil changed in my car.
34. But getting the oil changed in my car means sitting at the place and waiting.
35. And the place stinks because they also sell tires.
36. I really hate that smell.
37. At least I'm not as weird about smells as the Oldest Carrotstick.
38. The other day she made a disconcerting realization.
39. She really likes the way a friend of hers smells.
40. (The friend is a boy.)
41. And a couple of weeks ago, she found herself sitting in between PB&J and her friend's dad at a BYU basketball game.
42. After the game, she reported to me that her friend and his dad smell the same.
43. It was slightly demoralizing for her.
44. Sometimes you just can't trust smells.
45. They might just come from deodorant.
46. Which is really just covering up stink.
47. But thank goodness for deodorant.
48. Although I love Jane Austen, I always wonder what things smelled like in her era.
49. They probably stunk.
50. Just like this post.
(Do you want me to try for 100? What do you think?)