a fairy tale

once upon a time, many many months ago, a little princess named Oldest Carrotstick (called Carrot for short) went on a journey with her sometimes wicked mother to a far off land called the District.

the journey to the District was a long and tiring one. it involved an early morning ride in a horseless carriage, flying through the clouds for many many hours, and then, before the journey was done there was a frantic sprint through a unfriendly and confusing train station, through which the poor princess had to drag her own bag -- heavily burdened with a weeks worth of outfits, accessories, and shoes.

finally, Carrot and her mother, the lowly Lunch Lady, were met by a beautiful Farm Girl. she smiled happily at them and embraced them and they were overjoyed (especially because the Farm Girl was with child and it was very exciting to see her little baby bump). without delay, Farm Girl whisked the two weary travelers out of the oppressive labyrinth, onto a speeding subway train, and finally to her awaiting carriage. shortly thereafter, the gentle and congenial Farm Girl delivered them to a calm, clean, and quiet room on the 7th floor of the Marriott castle. it was a wonderful thing.

After a delightful dinner with the Farm Girl and he who is of Beaver Mountain fame, and a strange and disappointing cupcake by the name of "Peanut Butter Bacon", Carrot and the Lunch Lady retired to their rooms, to rest their weary heads.

Alas, all was not well for our dear young heroine. The Oldest Carrotstick declined her mothers generous offer to share her lovely king-sized bed with its down comforter and generous selection of pillows-- for which the Lunch Lady was deeply grateful -- choosing rather to sleep on the hide-a-bed. But how could our fair princess sleep when the bed had but one thin blanket and a mere two pillows!

Never fear, dear reader. For the OCS is a maiden of great courage and fortitude. She reached for the awaiting phone, and without further ado, she called the Housekeeping Staff and importuned,

"Um, hi. This is room 727. Can I get 5 more blankets and 7 more pillows?"

I kid you not.

And she slept happily ever after for the rest of her spring break trip.