Sunday, December 9, 2007
But it has also inspired me. Here is a little something I thought I might make for neighbor gifts this year.
If you decide to create some for your own friends and family, please heed the warning at the end of the instructions: "This may not be appropriate to bring to church services or more formal occasions. Please be aware that some people may be offended by this bag, and be tactful."
I think I heard somewhere that Martha Stewart was going to demo this in an upcoming show. Just remember, you saw it here first.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Exhibit A: The oldest carrot stick was singing primary songs the other day. She sang "The wise man built his house upon the rock, . . . and the rains came tumbling down. The rains came down, and the FLOWERS came up, the rains came down the FLOWERS came up, . . . and the house on the rock stood still." How many years has she been attending church, week after week, and been forced to function under such a gross misapprehension -- that this song is about horticulture -- due to the negligent teaching of her parents?
Exhibit B: The youngest carrot stick was recently retelling the Joseph Smith story. According to him, the young boy Joseph was looking for the right church, and because they didn't have cars back then, he had to walk through the woods and when he was walking through the woods, trying to find the right church, Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father told him not to go to any of the churches. Just think what might have happened had he been on the Interstate.
Exhibit C: With the Christmas season upon us, the carrot sticks have been busy decorating the house. The Lunch Lady went into the youngest carrot stick's room, to find the following display:
To the casual observer, it looks like a young boy playing with Cars. Innocent enough, until compared to the following, also displayed in his room:
The youngest carrot stick explained his Cars display thusly:
Please pay especial attention to the label on the 3 Ramone Cars. Not "wisemen" but "foolish men."
The carrot sticks rest their case.
The court finds in favor of the Plaintiffs.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
The littlest carrot stick is quite thrilled and delighted by this, his find. He gloated several times saying "Dad said you wouldn't wear this!" and his dad, in turn, egged it on, saying (in my presence) "Won't Mom look great wearing your necklace at church?"
I'm pushing the idea that such a fine looking necklace might best be displayed in the most special way possible, on the Christmas tree.
I wish I had taken the picture with a quarter next to it, so you could really appreciate its grandeur.
Let's just say, that if it were a piece of armor, you wouldn't have to add much and you would have a complete armored breastplate.
Monday, November 12, 2007
I must be old.
I must really be old.
Though some might say, "grow old gracefully." I will not. If I have to be old, I am going to be really good and old.
I am going to get a cane, a hairnet, 7 cats, a housecoat, start smacking my lips, dye my hair a really awful shade of red (to cover up all my gray), start calling people sonny, say eh?? a lot, and maybe, just maybe I'll start pinching peoples cheeks (whichever set is closer at hand).
Eh? Sonny? What's that? Well, back in my day we had respect for our elders. Dang whippersnapper.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Ugg! It finally happened. I've been booted out of Primary and exiled into Relief Society.
I am sad.
I might just have to go out and get some Uggs in protest and as a sign of my discontent.
People have a strange fascination with these things. There are a ton of pictures on flickr that are linked to Ugg boots. My favorite caption was "Okay Mr. Jackson Pollock I'm a super hip artist who doesn't bathe because I'm anti-establishment and spends his days working on the boardwalk to seem like a free spirit guy. Go walk around in your Ugg boots and make your phone call."
But, as frequently happens, the picture didn't live up to the potential of its caption.
Maybe I'll get my Uggs in Magenta. . .