I must be old.
I must really be old.
Though some might say, "grow old gracefully." I will not. If I have to be old, I am going to be really good and old.
I am going to get a cane, a hairnet, 7 cats, a housecoat, start smacking my lips, dye my hair a really awful shade of red (to cover up all my gray), start calling people sonny, say eh?? a lot, and maybe, just maybe I'll start pinching peoples cheeks (whichever set is closer at hand).
Eh? Sonny? What's that? Well, back in my day we had respect for our elders. Dang whippersnapper.