1. By 9:21 this morning I had already been to Wallies and returned home.
2. I went to go pick up the just-released final book in a series that the Oldest Carrotstick and the Middle Carrotstick have been reading.
3. I may or may not have also read it.
4. I may or may not have picked it up early this morning so that I could spend the whole day with the book to myself and finish it FIRST.
5. But that wouldn't be very responsible. And I am all about being responsible.
6. Which is why, though I wore the Oldest Carrotsticks very expensive jeans to Wallies, I will take them off before she gets home.
7. Because I didn't ask first.
8. I thought about texting her at school and asking.
9. But then I rationalized not asking by pointing out to myself that she took the jeans off, dropped them on the floor in my bathroom, and left them there 18 hours ago.
10. So she doesn't really care about responsibility.
12. Hopefully someday she will be responsible like me.
13. And do really worthwhile things.
14. Like blog.
15. And spend a whole day reading books and not cleaning the house.
16. The point of the jeans, though, is I wore them not just because they were there and very handy, but because I thought that maybe if I wore them to Wallies at 9 o'clock in the A.M. that I would, in fact, feel Sassy.
17. A friend of ours, whenever you ask him how he's doing, always responds "Fat and Sassy."
18. I like it.
19. At least the Sassy part.
20. Nobody likes to feel fat.
21. Except at Thanksgiving.
22. And then it's only good if it's a temporary thing.
23. Just like Peeps should only be a temporary thing.
24. Only at Easter.
25. Not any of those other holidays.
26. And certainly not in Flavors.
28. And can anyone tell me why, for the exact same price, you get only 10 Chick Peeps but 12 Bunny Peeps?
29. It makes it not very fiscally responsible to buy the Chicks.
30. Even though they are better.
31. And you know I'm all about being responsible.
32. Which is why I am having guilt about wanting to read this book all day today.
33. Instead of going to get the oil changed in my car.
34. But getting the oil changed in my car means sitting at the place and waiting.
35. And the place stinks because they also sell tires.
36. I really hate that smell.
37. At least I'm not as weird about smells as the Oldest Carrotstick.
38. The other day she made a disconcerting realization.
39. She really likes the way a friend of hers smells.
40. (The friend is a boy.)
41. And a couple of weeks ago, she found herself sitting in between PB&J and her friend's dad at a BYU basketball game.
42. After the game, she reported to me that her friend and his dad smell the same.
43. It was slightly demoralizing for her.
44. Sometimes you just can't trust smells.
45. They might just come from deodorant.
46. Which is really just covering up stink.
47. But thank goodness for deodorant.
48. Although I love Jane Austen, I always wonder what things smelled like in her era.
49. They probably stunk.
50. Just like this post.
(Do you want me to try for 100? What do you think?)