Wednesday, January 14, 2009

family planning

I don't claim to be an expert in this, but I have a few words of advice.

I have thought for quite a while now that 3 years between kids is ideal. We happened into that spacing not by choice, but it has worked out ok.

Until I made this startling realization:

We will be producing Pine Wood Derby Cars for six. years. straight.

The stress.

The design.

The aerodynamics or lack thereof.

The engineering degree or lack thereof.

The anxiety.

Is it overweight?

Or underweight?

The hopes.

The trauma.

The track inspired road rage.

The car that jumps the lane.

The crushed dreams.

For both the cub scout and his dad.

And therefore, for his mom also.

All over a stupid block of wood and black plastic wheels.

Pray for us.
The pine wood derby is tomorrow at 7, so you can be specific in your prayers.

(Thankfully, our scout leaders give everyone a blue ribbon with their name and time on it. That's all. No placing. Thank goodness. But you know that the dads still keep track.)

Please, keep this in mind as you are considering the establishment of your posterity.

Thank you.


DailyFamily said...

Oh how I feel your pain!! And I was recently called to be a den leader (even more pain).
The cars (in the background) look very nice.

Allyson said...

I hope I have girls, I can deal with the emotional deluge, the shopping, the hair and all the other girl stuff - but boy stuff...I would be SO out of me element. With that said, and with my luck, I will probably have 7 sons. ;)

Shem said...

Oh, Crap! When does this all begin? I am just getting used to wrestling, potty jokes and dirt.

Kate said...

oh thank you for this post, you've convinced me, I'm never having kids, they are smelly and they cry, and they have to participate in scouts.

I just signed up to get my tubes tied, glad I can work for doctors, I get priority on the surgery list.

Amber said...

You are right about engineers. Being an engineer, Jeff even entered the engineering pine wood derby race in college just for the sheer joy of it. All I can say is that I am thankful I don't have to help. It must be torture to do such a big project if it is not something you enjoy. It is all over soon!

Head Nurse or Patient- you be the judge said...

It truly could be worse- you could have our spacing :) By the time you get through 6 years- PB&J will be a pro, and not have to act like he has never done this before when the second one comes around.

Kellye said...

stupid stupid crappity crap crapy pinewood derby! I have a 4 year split between boys. Where does that leave me? Stupid pine wood. Not at all bitter. Right? Can't you just do one and re use that one every year?

Farm Girl said...

Derek read your post last night and feels very strongly, as the competitive male that he is, that the whole "every one wins" thing is crap. And I quote, "That's crap. Everyone knows that if you're not first, you're last."

Kristen said...

you know what? that is so NOT what I needed to hear right now....

although - there's gonna be a 5 year gap this time so maybe we'll get a break?