Friday, February 27, 2009

potty mouth

A short post about necessary things.

'Specially written for YOU.

We are in the middle of a remodel. (If you can count getting new flooring as remodeling. If you can't count it, then we are just in the middle of a MESS.)

We are getting new flooring. Which means we have to get rid of the old flooring first. The first floors to go were the two upstairs bathrooms and the laundry room.

Such a mess. But the boys have had a fantastic time doing demolition.
Give a boy a tool and you'll keep him entertained for hours. Don't you like his choice of work clothes? PJs.

Very versatile.

They worked all day Saturday filling this bucket with staples from the underlayment. Underlayment is a fancy word for wood under a vinyl floor. In case you didn't know.
The only boy who wasn't thrilled with the demolition was the big one. PB&J is not a plumber, and he was stressed by the thought of removing and replacing the toilets.

Perhaps the task was made a little more enjoyable by a little trip to the Home Depot. We had to replace one of the toilets completely. The tank lid was cracked on the old one, and apparently you can't just buy a new tank lid, you have to get a whole new toilet.

So I sent PB&J to the Home Depot, and look what he came home with:
Yes, it's true.

A "Performance Toilet".

Which certainly has to be better than a non-performing toilet, don'tcha think?

Anyway. The moral of the story is, anything thing can be cool if it has the right name.

Which somehow leads me to my next topic,

In honor of my forthcoming

200th post!

I want show YOU how much I appreciate YOU, Gentle Reader, and so I want to answer your questions. It can be about anything: How do I like my bacon cooked? (Crispy) If you stacked Bill Gates fortune up, in dollar bills, would it be taller than the Space Needle? (Yes). Those are just some examples. I flatter myself by thinking that you have questions you want answered. So humor me, will ya, please? Ask me some questions, and I will answer them on my

200th post!

Ask me anything, and I will do my best to answer all of them. Even you lurkers can feel free to de-lurk long enough to ask me something! (I promise it won't hurt and I won't think your question is stupid.) If you don't ask me any questions, then I will be forced to soothe my ego and ask myself questions. And that could be frightening. You don't want to witness a conversation between me and myself.

Go ahead,

Ask the Lunch Lady!

And look for answers to all your life's questions coming soon to a Sack Lunch near you!


bonnie jack said...

okay, here's my question: how do i get my baby to sleep through the night?

sorry, that's just what's on my mind right now, and i figure if anyone has the answer, it's you.

Head Nurse or Patient- you be the judge said...

I would say a toilet that performs really is something special- Can you bring it out here for our entertainment?

the lunch lady said...

bonnie, you were right to come to me with your question. check back with me next week and I will solve your dilemna!

Kate said...

Dear sister, who is your favorite sister? just kidding, don't answer because I know you will just write Ubermom, and then I will be intensely jealous.

What is your favorite dessert? And when you need a quick sweet fix, what do you head for? (ie, chocolate chips, peanut butter, nutella, you get the picture).

Cheree said...

You know it was a man that came up with the name of the "Performance Toilet" and not just a performance toilet but the global leader. How could you pass that up?
My question to you is how do you look so good and young? It is hard to believe that you have a teenage daughter.

Amber said...

Be happy you chose a performance toilet. Perhaps it will perform better than the old water saver toilets that never pump enough water through to flush much on the first try...sorry to be graphic.

DailyFamily said...

Please, please tell me what is the secret I have missed to successful potty-training??
(since we're talking about potties and questions, that is)

Allyson said...

When I read the words "performance toilet" I had a flashback to an OLD "Home Improvement" episode. You know, the show with Tim Allen as an almost mentally handicapped handy man. ANYWAY there was an episode where they made a "man bathroom" and there was a TV and cup holders, a mini fridge, and...the toilet reclined. Quite a preformance if you ask me.

SO questions huh? Okay, where do you find your recipes? You always have such fun ones - do you have a favorite book/books, websites, etc.

valmike said...

So, does your new toilet require a dose of Performance Enhancing Drugs on a regular basis?

kninsa said...

What's for dinner?

momtherunner said...

My question: did you have a fun weekend?

Amy said...

Wow..200th post! How does it feel to have 200 posts under your belt? I'm nearing 56 and I'm wondering if that will be my final post..So my real question, where do you come up with all your fun posts? Specifically the pictures, recipes etc.

Thanks for keeping the masses fed, and entertained.

Melanie said...

You always have such great recipes. What's your all time favorite meal? Not necessarily one that you make - doesn't food taste better when someone else makes it anyway?

The Duvall Family said...

I would like to know where I can get a cute white skirt for church...either a pencil skirt or a flowy (is that a word??) skirt. You always have such cute clothes on I'm sure you will have the perfect answer:)

Kellie said...

Well right now as I am trying to ignore my screaming baby who doesn't want to go back to be I am think of the same question as bonnie jack. Please help and also what is a good way to get my boys to eat breakfast, lunch or dinner when we are eating those meals?

Shem said...

What is your favorite local restaurant? (local counts the county north of us)

Henry said...

My question is: Is a performace toilet something like permformance art? Do you need a ticket to see it? Or use it?