I would personally like to thank the grounds keepers of our fair city's parks and recreation areas for importing such a lovely red dirt for the baseball fields. if they had been satisfied with the natural brown dirt indigeneous to our area, I would be missing out on so much fun trying to get the red dirt stains out of the Middle Carrotsticks white baseball pants.
why is sliding into base such a thrill for 10 year-old boys????
In her lunch you will find a well-balanced lunch consisting of:
1 (one) peanut butter sandwich with RASPBERRY jam (or her husband)
3 baby carrots (the kids)
5/8ths of a fruit roll-up (namely, the Lunch Lady herself, who, though fruity, is still short of being a WHOLE fruit roll-up ((is that good or bad?)))
And one-half pint of lukewarm cardboard flavored chocolate milk (the dog).
And thanks, but no thanks, the Lunch Lady is not interested in trading anything in her lunch. She is more than satisfied with the things on her plate (or in her lunch bag).