I modeled my platform after those of many a successful politician: "If you can't win 'em, buy 'em!" So, for the past couple of years, I have purchased season passes to the local waterpark for the kids. That way, when the Littlest Carrotstick goes there with Betsy Case, at least we can tag along and act like we do fun things like that, too.
Though the polls showed a marked improvement in my approval ratings during the summer months, I have now been forced to rethink my strategy.
Today, as we walked through the park for the very first time this season, minding our own business, not bothering anyone, a large group of pre-teen boys started jumping up and down, waving, and yelling the Oldest Carrotstick's name. Among them was the nefarious Ethan Thomas (whose attentions have been diverted from the Oldest Carrotstick by a $5 bet. He has to go out with Amy Marchant for one week, and then in order to win the $5, he has to break-up with her to her face.)
((Can. you. even. believe. it? Does this make you fear the future for your young daughters?))
I now think season passes to the waterpark were not such a great idea after all. Especially if she'll be seeing boys there. Especially when she will be scantily clad in this
all-too-revealing (though modest) swimsuit.
I think I will be purchasing this suit right away for her:
If you are interested in getting one for yourself or a loved one, here's the link.
I am hereby offically withdrawing -- not just suspending -- my candidacy in the Cool Mom Contest. I endorse Betsy Case for Coolest Mom.
*all names have, once again, been changed to protect the innocent.
My name is the Lunch Lady and I approve this message.