Thursday, August 14, 2008

a rose by any other name

When George Washington was elected the 1st President of the United States, no one could decide what to call him.

"His Elective Majesty"

"His Mightiness"

and even

"'His Highness the President of the United States of America and Protector of the Rights of the Same."

The Oldest Carrotstick has experienced some difficulty of her own in knowing what to call me, her beloved mother.

The best title she's come up with is --
(please note: to get the full effect you must say this with incredible passion and vehemence, all the while feeling, with great intensity, the martyr)

"Killer of Joy"

(The trick is trying not to laugh aloud while such histrionics are being delivered.)

I also take great joy in the prospect of one day being known as:

(Click on the link if you can't remember what movie that's from.)

In the end, the Founding Fathers settled on simply "Mr. President". Perhaps she will settle on something simple, yet dramatic, like "Mrs. Ruining My Life Forever Mother"?

'Til then . . . Hail to the Chief High Executive Mother.

(P.S. It's extremely important you pronounce "Hail" correctly -- it's "H-ay-ll" not "H-ell")


kninsa said...

Ah yes, the hated occupation of "mother of a teenager." How it must suck to be you right now (and for the next several years...)

P.S. Answer my email.

Jennifer said...

I remember when I thought my mom was the "killer of joy" also. But now that I'm older and have kids of my own I realize that it was for my own good. It will only be a few years until Kynli starts thinking of me that way too!

Soon enough the oldest carrotstick will realize you're doing it out of love and she'll appreciate everything you do for her.

miranda said...

I'm not looking forward to the teenage years, you'll have to let me know of any tricks you figure out. Congrats on your new calling! Is it O.K. with the oldest carrotstick? You'll be awesome.

Kate said...

the next 5 years ought to be fun. Good luck!

the lunch lady said...

She says she's glad I'm in there, but she is embarrassed by me at the same time.

Kellye and Jon said...

Lets just hope we can all be a Murderer of Love. I am truly scared for you and your immediate future, and I am scared for me and the not so far away future. Do you think it is ok for adults to hide in their closets until the teenage years are over?

Cheree said...

You have such a good older carrot stick, and you are such a good mom. I'm sure you will look back on these next few years and laugh. But what do I know. I am scared to death of the teenage years. You will have to give me some pointers.

Amy said...

I think you are really missing her pre-teenage years right about now, and it hasn't even been a full week. Just wait until she gets her drivers license..I am sure she will come up with a new fun title, when she can't take the car.
I am laughing at Kellye's comments about hiding in the closet. I don't have kids, and I want to hide some when the bishop calls.

Shem said...

My dear old Dad, a school teacher by trade for 30 years, used to say... "All children should be locked in a closet when they turn 13 and let out when they turn 18."

(Yyou might find this a better option, Kellye.)

Lucky for me, Dad's bark was worse than his bite... at least in this case.

Kate said...

if you want, I'll come to YW and be a spaz so that she will be embarrassed of me and not you? Let me know, I'm here for you sis.