The Oldest Carrotstick is a little bummed that she isn't old enough to go on this Stake Trek. They get to go to -- wait for it --
a Handcart Pageant.
She complained just the teensiest bit about this Consolation Activity.
"Why do they think we'd want to sit around and watch bunch of girls modeling pioneer clothes?" she asked.
If only there was a bubble over the Oldest Carrotstick's head, in which we could see what was going through her mind! I can just imagine the following scene filling her imagination:
A darkened auditorium, full of metal folding chairs, all occupied by zealous families and youth groups, a spotlight illuminates the stage. Some old-timey music plays in the background and a disembodied voice gives an inane running commentary as girls in pioneer garb work the runway: Announcer: "Here we have Miss Handcart Trek Ashley and her First Attendant, Connie, modeling lovely vintage pioneer gowns in crimson and flax. Connie is wearing a full coverage apron, while Ashley is a modern girl wearing a half apron, slung low on the hips. The Camelback she carries is a lovely, and necessary, accessory for any Trek girl. Let's hear it for Miss Handcart Trek! Thank you, ladies."
"Gentlemen are not to be outdone in the 1800s! Here we have Kyle, showing that men can be tough and still take advantage of all the protection a good sunbonnet can offer. Real men do wear bonnets, right, Kyle?"
"And finally, for the kids out there, here we have three of our valiant youth. They are wearing ... well, let's just say, they are showing a modern interpretation of what pioneer children wore as they sang, and walked, and walked and walked -- though the pioneers might have thought the young lady a bit immodest! Remember, your body is a temple, so let's keep those knickers covered! Thank you, Carrotsticks."
And then the music would fade and the little scene in the Oldest Carrotstick's imagination would turn to static, as we explain to her that it wasn't a Beauty Pageant, but more like a outdoor pioneer musical with a very large cast.
I really think my daughter is sweet and darling.
But she has some funny, funny ideas, and says the craziest things, totally unintentionally. And I feel I have to share her humorousness, because I have a responsibility to make the world a better place.