Tuesday, October 7, 2008

trading treats tuesday

In our community, the recreation department depends on talented, courageous parents to volunteer to coach the city youth sports teams. Occasionally, they have had a dearth of volunteers and have called here to see if anyone in our household is willing to coach. I very earnestly inform them that they would be better off with no coach, than with me. My prowess on the soccer field is, ummmm, well . . . non-existent.

So this Trading Treats Tuesday, I celebrate: Great Coaches! (PB&J would second that motion-- I think he has a man crush on Bronco Mendenhall.) But, for me, I rejoice in the fortitudinous parents that do volunteer to coach their kids -- and mine.

This year we were lucky -- my kids all had great coaches.

But, unfortunately, we did witness a few instances of bad coaching -- both on and off the soccer field.

Review the following examples and see if you can tell which is which:

Example 1:
Girl: (whining) Mooommmm, the girls keep yelling at me to center the ball, and I caaaaan't. It's toooo haaaard.

Mom: (consoling) Just do what your heart tells you, sweetie.

Example 2:
(overheard on the soccer field, clear from the neighboring football field)
Football Coach: (yelling) The reason we are LOSING is because my freaking linebackers are spinning around like freaking ballerinas!!!!

Example 3:
Coach: (to team) Ok, Rainbow Bright Warriors, we lost this game, but if you win all the rest of your games, you can shave my head at the end of the season!

Which example illustrates the most effective coaching methodology???
The Oldest Carrotstick is very excited to shave his head on Saturday with her team. Her coach is either very brave or very stupid. The only thing she has ever helped shave is the neighbors shih-tzu.

He should be very, very scared.


Head Nurse or Patient- you be the judge said...

Wow- he must not have had any faith in them LOL!! Either that or he was planning on doing it anyway- and so used it as a motivator. I think the man crush is pretty much a given, and he wouldn't be the only one. I for one am immensely impressed with Coach M.s integrity in a world/sport where there is very little.

Shem said...

Do what is in your heart? What kind of winning philosophy is that? I say beat the other team into the ground, let them up and beat them down again. THAT IS IN MY HEART!

the lunch lady said...

The O.C. was completely disgusted by the Heart comment!

Allyson said...

Follow your heart, (insert giggle here) that is really cute!

kninsa said...

I'm so hot for you right now, shem

the lunch lady said...

Kninsa -- this is a PG-rated blog! Control yourself -- or take it to your own blog!

Amy said...

I am laughing at the ballerina comment! I'm thinking the shaved head motivator might just get him..a shaved head!

bids2calvin said...

I laughed when I saw who your coach was. I play volleyball with his wife all the time and I played coed volleyball with him a few years ago. Did he have to shave it?

the lunch lady said...

yes, they did. and apparently they somehow managed to do such a bad job that his wife had to spend some time trying to fix it. how that is possible, I don't know.